The Boys of Summer
/Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back"
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but-
I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
- lyrics by Don Henley, Boys of Summer, 1984
Yesterday is not real, it is a memory, it was only real yesterday. Tomorrow is not real, it is a projected dream. The only thing that is real is right now, this very moment, the present. And thus, this is the only moment you can make a change, today, right now. You cannot make tomorrow's changes.
You can look back and learn about your mistakes and reminisce about some good days but, you have to keep moving forward. There are good days on the horizon as well. You are not the person you were yesterday. If you have consciously reflected you should have seen some failures and some successes towards the person you want to be, and the person you do not want to be. If you have spent a moment to do the work, you should be a better person today. Do not beat yourself up over yesterday's or last years mistakes. They will not matter if you have "done the work". Those choices in the past were a reflection of your present moment experiences and wisdom. Today, you should be a better person. If you are still making those dumb choices today, you are not "doing the work" you need to do. It is like steering off the road every day and hitting the same mail box day after day. You wouldn't do that to your car would you ? Would you do that to your partner ? your kids ? your parents ? Your life ? It wouldn't make sense in any respect to keep repeating the mistakes of your ways. The same tests and lessons keeps showing up because our choices remain the same -- hence the definition of insanity, thanks Albert (Einstein).
Pay attention. Steer straight when that mailbox is coming up on the horizon, when that interaction with your spouse is pending, when your kids do stupid stuff over and over. Pay harder attention, focus on steering straight. Execute. You'll have stepped forward in your life when you can see that mailbox still standing in your rearview mirror. And, you should smile when you see it standing, because at that very moment you will have become a better person and tomorrow you can set your sights on the next mailbox down the road. Damn mailboxes-- too many mailboxes. In time, with a little work, you won't have to look back to see the mailbox still standing there, you will know it intuitively and instinctively, through better decisions come better outcomes.
I have always loved the Don Henley song "The Boys of Summer". It reminds me of my younger years when things were easier and seemingly, yet not truthfully, required less responsibility. You could carve your way through a ditch and hit a mailbox and just keep driving, not a moral code to check your gut, unless your moral fabric was woven tight early on in life. Was anybody looking ? Did anyone see me hit that mailbox ? Should I turn back around or just keep driving? We all have to grow up at some point, unfortunately, and though we can look back, we can never go back. The only thing that is real is right now, this very moment, the present. And thus, this is the only moment you can make a change, today, right now -- to continue to more tightly weave our moral code and fabric. You cannot yet make tomorrow's changes, not until tomorrow, so do the work today and then don't look back. You can never look back.
Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back"
- Shawn